Bajo el Mismo Cielo

Some days it's really, really hard.

Something really exciting happens and I can't wait until the end of the day to talk to my spouse about all the cool things that I experienced that day. I do something cool like meet an assistant secretary or tour an amazing office. And I just want to share it with my favorite person in the whole world.

But the spouse is not here. And there's dry cleaning to pick up in Juarez. Or an event with coworkers or friends in DC. Cookies to bake to take to work, lunch to make for tomorrow, a bathroom to clean for house guests.  So we communicate in snatched conversations here and there.  We pick and choose the truly extraordinary events to talk about, and forget the day-to-day. Or we focus on the mundane logistics of when and where we'll see each other again, and leave the extraordinary to rise to the surface unexpectedly months down the line.

We've done this before. But never so married, and never so long. Each time apart is time that we could have been spending together, regardless of whether it makes sense for our respective careers. We just have to keep telling ourselves that it's going to work out and we're going to be together eventually. That at least we're living in a civilized era of Facetime and Skype and long-distance phone calls. And all of those sleepless nights, the cravings for a simple touch, a kiss, or sharing a mundane moment.... we'll stave them off through visits once a month or so. But we won't cure all of them. There will still be those missed connections and opportunity costs from our separate ways.

These are the sacrifices we make. This is the career and the lifestyle that we choose. We try very, very hard to make due. And we don't make a fuss. Stiff upper lip and all that. It's already hard enough, I can't imagine how my colleagues with children do it. We all have our burdens, we just have to hope that some are less permanent than others.

It's going to be a long 15 months.

Juntos: La Misma Bandera

It's been a whirlwind of a couple of weeks. We've had a full course of crazy training, from learning about vouchers to offsite leadership (And before you ask, what happens at the offsite stays at the offsite, so don't ask). And of course Friday was the notorious Flag Day.

This flag day was particularly nerve-wracking for the spouse and I, since we've known for about a year that at least one-half of this here tandem couple is headed to Doha, Qatar in 2014. Since Doha was on the bidlist, it was obviously my/our number one choice, but in State Department world there are no guarantees. So it was with genuine trepidation that we entered that auditorium, hoping that the stars would align.

And then they projected this flag:

And they called my name.

And I learned that our long separation will definitely have an end-date. We will be separate for a year and a half. But at the end of 2014, my spouse and I will once again live together in the same place. Diplomats. Tandem. Together.